


Care

by lonelyasacloud



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/M, M/M, Sort-of, it's a mess with a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 04:23:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11570253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelyasacloud/pseuds/lonelyasacloud
Summary: Josh used to take care of a broken Tyler onceand nowJenna does, and he's trying hard to stop his jealousy.





	Care

**Author's Note:**

> i needed to write something and this is the end-product and i'm honestly not sure if i like it, but let's give it a try, shall we?

Jenna is beautiful, and Tyler is in love.

She’s everything he could have dreamt of, everything he actually _did_ dream of back before he’d met her, everything he wants and needs. She’s funny, quirky, kind and caring and passionate. And beautiful. Her eyes are so pretty it almost hurts to look at them, a piercing blue made soft by the person behind it, soothing pools for him to get lost in.

He does so pretty often. It’s honestly a bit embarrassing, but sometimes he just spaces out and forgets to listen and reply during one of their every-day-convos and simply lets his mind rest in the clear blue, calming and comforting.

She likes that about him though so he’s good- she claims to like his weirdness, the small things about him that make him stand out, that got him bullied in school and he learned to hate about himself. She’s good for him and everybody sees and appreciates it. She’s slowly teaching him to love himself just like she does, shows him that he’s likeable and deserves to be cared for. She feeds him and comforts him and makes him smile and it’s good.

 

Josh knows all of this.

He _does_ , but at the same time he doesn’t. Not really. He sees it, he knows it, but he doesn’t believe it.

He still remembers the day he first met her, Jenna-the-potential-girlfriend, remembers her beaming smile and high voice and the way Tyler had trouble breathing because her jokes made him laugh so hard. The way Tyler’s eyes were always on her, following her hand movements and her gaze and how he seemed so hungry for her attention. He remembers feeling out of place, somehow stuck in a really weird romantic comedy, where he was the idiot trapped with two ignorant lovebirds. The worst thing about it was Jenna being anything but ignorant, asking him almost too many questions, a bit too interested in his answers whilst Tyler didn’t even bother look at him just _once_.

Jenna came into their lives like a sunny thunderstorm, sucked Tyler in with alarming speed and left Josh stranded, gasping for air like a fish on dry ground.

Josh hates her for it and hates himself even more for hating Tyler’s person. He should be so fucking grateful to her, should worship and admire her but he can’t help the jealous cold fist clenching around his heart whenever he thinks of the pair nowadays.

 

Before Jenna, Tyler had been a mess. He’d been so fundamentally destroyed by his own thoughts that Josh hadn’t known what to do. In the beginning of their friendship, it had been Josh who’d helped Tyler like Jenna does now. He’d been the reason for Tyler’s smiles and he’d been the one Tyler would come to for help, face wet with tears or dry from numbness with his heart full of bottomless pain and he’d clung to Josh like a leech and Josh had both despised and loved it. Had adored this broken boy full of creativity and a weird kind of confidence, so heartbreakingly beautiful and kind. Had fallen in love with their relationship, the easy trust between them and the warmth throughout all of it.

Tyler hadn’t though. And one day, when Josh had finally gathered enough confidence and nervousness and admitted his feelings to him, Tyler had stood up from the couch they’d both been sitting on and went to his room and locked the door and came out 22 hours later only to tell Josh that he’d move out as soon as possible and that he was sorry.

And that had been the end of it.

And Tyler had become even sadder than before and wished he could go back in time and make things right and stop Josh from falling in love with him because oh, how he missed that boy with the warmest of all eyes and the most soothing voice in the world but he couldn’t and that was how their eight-month-friendship-hiatus had begun.

 

Josh barely remembers that time now, days blurring together in a haze of work, sleep and numbness. He’s okay with that though because what he does remember is the devastating pain he’d felt when Tyler had told him he’d be moving out as soon as possible. In retrospect, his mind must have shut down partly because that first sharp stab is all he remembers, after that only numbness.

 

Tyler was the one to break the silence.

 

_Hi, I hope you’re doing okay. Just wanted to ask if you’d like to catch up some time soon. Got some great news to tell ya_

 

And of course, Josh couldn’t decline.

And of course, the great news was Jenna.

 

They met up in one of their old favorite coffee shops, one of many that Josh had avoided for eight months straight and when the barista recognized them anyways he finally felt a real smile spread across his face for the first time in a long while and he felt so _damn good_.

Tyler was all smiles as well and kept talking about himself as if he didn’t want to think about how bad Josh must’ve felt and he spilled the beans about Jenna pretty quickly and Josh felt something break deep within himself and all he could do was to force a smile onto his face, congratulate Tyler on finally meeting someone and after that it was white noise for him.

Tyler noticed the light leaving Josh’s eyes but kept on talking and talking and talking, for the sake of old times and because he’d missed his best friend in the whole world so much and had been hoping that he’d gotten over him but it was obvious that there were still some feelings left and that was why he decided to introduce Josh to Jenna as soon as possible.

 _As soon as possible_ , and Josh agreed because he longed to be close to Tyler again and somehow he managed to keep the façade up, to become friends with Jenna, to help Tyler plan his proposal and even stood next to the love of his life as best man on their wedding day.

 

The tears eventually stopped, the pain melted away to some place deeper and numbed by a whole lot of layers, it became bearable. Most of the time.

Some days are still bad. When Jenna texts him a cute pic of Tyler or when Tyler gets overly excited talking about his wonderful wife; but it is bearable.

Josh is grateful for having a happy Tyler in his life for once, and it’s hard to know that the source of that happiness is not he, but since that’s less important to him than Tyler’s well-being it's bearable as well.

And on those days when he forgets that, he forces himself to bring up those buried memories of a broken, suicidal boy who couldn’t grasp the concept of someone actually loving him, who was so scared of being fooled and left behind by his best friend that he put himself first for the very first time and in turn shattered both Josh’s and his own heart to a million pieces.

So he tries not to hate her, and he’s getting better at that.

And Tyler knows, and he appreciates it and loves Josh endlessly for doing so and Josh knows,

And it’s good.


End file.
